


In memory of you (Bucky Barnes x Reader) Oneshot

by NightshadeAngel



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bucky needa a hug, Bucky x Reader, Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Feeellllsss, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Hydra, Love, Pain, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, You decide the ending, major feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-03-19
Packaged: 2018-03-16 23:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3506015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightshadeAngel/pseuds/NightshadeAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You and Bucky cherish your final moments together after a mission to save him from Hydra goes wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In memory of you (Bucky Barnes x Reader) Oneshot

**Author's Note:**

  * For [animefreak141](https://archiveofourown.org/users/animefreak141/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Indecisions](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/101870) by Crowlita. 



She wanted to save him. But she couldn't save herself...

Before she could knock him out and make his memories return, Bucky had pulled the trigger. 

He stumbled backwards slightly, shaking his head to get rid of the concussion after being hit across the temple. His vision was blurry, and all he could make out was grey concrete surroundings and a figure in front of him. After a few seconds his eyes finally focused.

It was not until what he saw, had he realized what he had done. The gun in his hand, the girl he loved standing infront of him, smiling sadly.And finally, the wound in her stomach. His eyes widened and dropped the gun onto the floor. She eventually collapsed onto her knees, but he swiftly caught her before she could fall. 

The Winter Soldier craddled her in his arms, hoping that she would live to see another day. But his hopes were too high; for it was already too late.

She had lost too much blood.

It had started to pool underneath her. Her blood was on his hands. He knew this was his doing, even though he was brainwashed.The colour had drained from her cheeks, and her hands were cold to the touch. Her once full red lips had turned into a bluish hue and her bright (e/c) eyes were now lifeless and dull. (Name) was breathing in shallow gasps and her heartbeat was slowing down, waiting to succumb to her fate.

Bucky's hand caressed (Name's) cheek.  
"No, no, no!" He said in despair, tears starting to well up in his eyes,"why did you do this?". He quickly put one of his hands over the bullet wound to stop the bleeding. But she slowly brushed his hand away, knowing there was no use.

"Bucky I did this for you," she answered softly, giving a sad smile,"I couldn't let Hydra take you after you sided with us."

"But they- it wasn't-" Bucky's voice stuttered, trying to have the inner strength to say what he never wanted to say,"I hurt you!". A tear rolled down his cheek as he said this, and brought her weak body closer to his.

"It wasn't you're fault, you know that." (Name) breathed,"You didn't know what you were doing...you were brainwashed." She rested the side of her head onto his chest, feeling his warmth against her cold body and hearing the sound of his heartbeat. (Name) knew herself she wasn't going to survive. 

"You shouldn't have come for me," he tensed bottling his emotions, his jaw clenching with anger and pain, "they said if I refused to work for Hydra again, they would harm you. I couldn't let that happen. I just couldn't! So I gave myself up, but before they wiped my memory, they told me it was a trap." Bucky could feel (Name's) hand entwining with his and immediatly felt himself no longer tense.

"I never knew you cared about me Bucky." (Name) whispered into his chest,  and instantly looking at him tears rolling down her cheeks and being absorbed by his clothes. He looked into her (e/c) eyes intently.

"I always did (Name), always from the start." 

(Name) smiled. Her feelings towards him were mutual. Bucky took the earpiece from her ear and spoke into it, calling for backup and a medical team to their locatuon. She lay there and thought about how this was going to end. Right now this feelimg was perfect. But she realized that there wasn't enough time left for this moment to last. So instead, she did all she could.  

"Listen Bucky," she said weakly,"I don't think I have enough time left-"

"No!" He slightly snapped,"Don't say that, don't you give up on me, you can still make it. Just stay with me until the paramedics arrive okay? Promise me." His face filled with worry and hope. (Name) shook her head. 

"I can't keep that promise Bucky. But I can promise that even thought I'll be gone, I'll always be there for you." (Name) said her voice getting raspy. She had to go soon. But she needed to tell him.

"(Name)-"

"Things could of been different,"she chuckled slightly,"maybe if I didn't encounter you that day with Steve and Nat, with you falling on top of me to save me from the explosion, this wouldn't of happened.  But you know what? I don't regret it. Not any of it. You shouldn't either." 

But he didn't want to listen. In distress, the soldier looked around for something that would act like a bandage that would cover up the wound. However, his eyes had rested on the gun that he dropped momentarily. Immediately he had an idea. Laying (Name) on the floor softly, he stood up and walked over to the gun and picked it up before rushing back to her side. (Name) suddenly wore a worried expression on her face.

"Bucky, what are you doing?" she asked.

"(Name), if you're going on the other side," he replied, putting the gun towards his head, "then I'm coming with you."

"You can't," she objected. Was this how he wanted to solve this situation? By killing himself too? "You've just frozen for years, and you've been controlled by people your whole entire life. You want to end your own life even after you've been freed?"

"It's my choice (Name), I can't let you go. Even after I've been freed from Hydra, how will I live my free life without you?" his jaw clenching.

"I thought you were better than that Bucky..." (Name) trailed off

"Is it bad that I want to be with you? You can't tell me what to do. It's still my choice."

"You think this is the best solution to your problem, but it isn't. If you do this, it will be my fault. I would die with guilt that you took your own life just for me. It's a waste for you to take your own life. As much as I want to be with you," she said, her voice suddenly cracking, "I want you to live your life, I've already lived mine." The soldier's hand holding the gun quivered. His finger was on the trigger and it was ever so slowly pulling back. (Name) mouthed the words 'don't do this', as he looked at her. His eyes then suddenly were tightly shut and he tried to ignore her plea to stop. However, her convincing was enough to make him drop gun with a loud clatter.

"But I hurt you. I tried to prevent this in every way possible, but I've failed. I tried to protect you and I did the opposite. I've harmed you in the worse way possible that you won't ever come back. " He finally broke down from supressing his emotions. 

"You never have failed. You've protected more than I could protect myself. You think I won't come back, but one day, we will meet again Please understand that..." 

Using the last of her energy, she finally had the strength to lift herself up and wrap her arms around his neck to lock her lips with his in a passionate kiss. He held her waist and stroked her (h/c) soft hair. The warmth of his lips on hers made her heart flutter.  
With her one last breath, she spoke three simple words. 

"I love you." 

"I love you too." Bucky replied back, understanding that it was time. He gave a smile of sadness knowing  that he would never get to see her again, until it was his time.

She had heard him before her eyelids closed. All this time they felt the same way but never had the chance to express it. At least she finally knew that he loved her. She could finally rest in peace. It was then when the world turned black and (Name) could slowly feel herself fade away.

And she was gone.

Bucky held her lifeless body and buried his face into the nape of her neck, silently crying tears for .the loss of the one he loved. 

***

A month later

The orange rays of the sunset fell upon an alone grave in a small hill under a blossom tree, near a forrest. It was autumn and the wind softly blew the falling leaves from nearby trees around. 

Bucky stood there, looking at the gravestone. It simply read, "In loving memory of (Full Name)  a dear friend." Surely she should of deserved more than a simple message, Bucky thought to himself. He took out a single (favourite flower) and placed by the grsvestone. The wind rustled through the blossom tree softly as if it were saying thank you.

"The last few days took a toll on me." Bucky said, his face trying to show a little emotion. "Fury gave me a bereavemnt leave, you know, to meet you." he paused, but decided that he should carry on. "I know it has been 2 weeks since you've finally been laid down. I know it's also been a month since...the incident." he said with a guilty expression. "I've tried my hardest to come here. I've attempted so many times to be with you, but I know you would be ashamed of me." 

The wind rustled and the petals from the blossom tree swirled around him before falling. Bucky smiled looking down. 

"I was tempted to wipe my memory of you. I couldn't just live my life knowing that you were gone. But I thought about what you said.  You told me I shouldn't regret my actions I guess.  If I wiped my memory, I would live my life not knowing that you're always with me. I wouldn't have even remembered you had existed. Or the day we kissed and you told me you cared for me too."

He slowly shed a tear from his blue eyes and put a hand on the grave stone. 

"You say you're there but it's difficult that I can't see you.  I really wish you were here (Name), everything's just fallen and nothing seems to be the same anymore. I want to move on, but I don't know if I ever will. But for now, this is goodbye. I love you (Name) and I miss you." 

He felt a warm touch on his hand. Bucky looked up. 

Nothing. 

He sighed to himself. And he walked away finally trying to let her go.. Little did he know that she was there the whole time. 

"Bucky..." a faint voice called. 

And he turned around/ but he carried in walking away.

**Author's Note:**

> Something prompted me to do this today, I dunno why. I'm not a very 'feelsy' person so I dont have any idea how to write emotional stuff (thats the same with fluff and smut scenes XD).  
> I decided I wanted to change this one to a 3rd person view but still have the elements of a 2nd person by adding your names in ;)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it, hopefully I did an okay job at it.


End file.
